Is it really your job?

Everything shifted for me when I began to master the skill of setting and maybe more key, maintaining boundaries. If you read my first blog you know I struggled with the idea of work-life balance. I believe focusing on work-life harmony works better because you look at your whole life and identify the areas you want to give more time and energy. It can ebb and flow to change as your life does. For this to work though, you must own your boundaries.

For high achievers, this can be a weak spot, especially at work. As I’ve supported clients on this topic, one thing that’s come up is this hope that setting boundaries means others will adhere to them. Boundaries are about changing how YOU respond to situations rather than expecting other people to change their behavior.

I’ve realized it’s pretty easy for clients to define and set boundaries. The hang up is around maintaining them because let’s face it, people at work are going to push and test your boundaries as much as your kids do.

Consider why you hold boundaries as a parent. I’d venture to guess you aren’t saying no because it brings you joy. You have your children’s long-term best interest in mind. We tell our son all the time, “Every decision we make or boundary (“rule”) we set is to keep you healthy or safe.” That’s it. Can you think about yourself in that manner too?

The first part of my coaching program focuses on big picture thinking before getting tactical. Why? Because if you know what you want, where you want to go, and what matters most to you right now, you’re more likely to make decisions and take action with those factors in mind.

If you don’t want the fluff and would rather get straight to tactics, ask yourself this –

“What do I want to be known for?”

Do you want to be known for your responsiveness, always available to help the team or as the one you can hold time for deep thinking to drive innovation and business outcomes?

Do you want to be known for ensuring every priority is met in the same day or as someone who has energy left to give to their family?  

Do you want to be known for never missing a conference call or as someone who challenges the status quo (think – this could’ve been an email)?

Whatever you decide, learning how to set and maintain boundaries will shift how you show up in all areas of your life.

So, is it really your job or could you improve how you show up? Before you make a career shift, consider what you want to be known for and how you’re setting and maintaining boundaries. If you don’t, your habits are likely to follow you wherever you go.